Cure me.

I need someone or something badly to cure whatever is happening to me and my stomach.
It is either all in the mind or really the body.
Coz IF I keep gg on like this,I pretty much cant squeeze in my S shirts and pants.
Well..At least this is what I thought to be.

Have been incorporating alot of fruits and vegs as possible into my mail.
But darn..the carbs are still there.Like biscuits,breads?
Been buying the digestive biscuits though.Not sure if it really work?

Been buying food that is like low in sugar/fat or whatever.Do they work?
And been trying to walk as much as I can.Thank god that I actually still need to walk to take bus to work every morning.

Hey..the Khoon Guan Digestive Biscuit is good.
*Opps*-_-!!

ZzZ~Healthy Eating

That is it!I'm set on my diet again.Guilt got the better of me after I had finished the breads.
Am frantically searching the net for healthy recipes,low calories,fat,carbs,sugar...anything.

Not that I will be able to whip them out though;p
Actually I did have a record of food that I like and copied them down.Coz one fine day,I really wish I can just sit back at home and really develope my culinary skills,making full use of my father's genes.(Hopefully those are pass to me la~)

And of coz..Isnt it a blissful thought that you could make something nice for your family,friends and the significant other?

Hehe.

Nevertheless..I'm gonna stick to my 'strict' diet tml.
NO deep fried~NO over-indulging~MORE water~MORE fruits~MORE vegs~LESS complex/refine carbs~MORE exercise..well..that is houseworks plus walking~

SLIM~TONE~I DUN WANT TO BECOME ONE OF THOSE LADIES THAT LOSE THEIR FIGURE UPON WORKING!!

ARGH~~IT's worst than those what..nightmare on what street.That Freddy and Jason show.

And that Jason is so UGLY!

NIght night~

Pop that Thang~

Seriously..I hate to make stupid mistakes that prove that I can be quite blur at work,under the eyes of Grace.
Makes me goes "opps" mentally and look really stupid.

Anyway time is always slow at work and the only motivation for today is counting to KO time and meet Jason straight!My nerves are getting so impatient then.
Dreads the thought of Monday.*shivers*

So I went to meet Jason later,had our lunch at Raffles City's Foodcourt.
Man..It is either lately my appetite increased by tens that will lead me to be fat soon.
Or my metabolism rate suddenly shoot up.
I cant control but gets easily hungry lately.
Been controlling my hunger pangs like hell at night.
Like now..Just ATE alot for dinner but now,i am a lil hungry.*gulps*
What the hell is happening to my body???
Seriously need a weighing machine at home to watch my weight.
Ok..that shall be the next thing under my list.

Ok..cont'd..
Hey~Jason's mum likes my chocolates!!
Thanks Yng~Muacks!

We had our dinner at Serangoon Chomp Chomp.
I had chicken porridage(shared a lil with him)
A plate of..erm..I dunno what it's call.Its like roti prata crust fill with red bean paste.It's very thing and ABSOLUTELY YUMMY,shared with Jason.
And also a claim to be low fat dessert shared with Jason too.

So can you imagine the amount of stuff I ate?And surprisingly,Im not stuffed,im just full.
But now..the food are like digested already and i REALLY cant help but have some bread to ease the grumblings.

Im sorry...I dunno why?
shucks...Better watch it!!

Lyrics

Artist: Dashboard Confessional Song:

VindicatedAlbum: Spiderman 2



.

Lyrics :
Hope dangles on a string

Like slow spinning redemption

Winding in and winding out

The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in

So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing

I am captivated

{Chorus}

I am Vindicated

I am selfish

I am wrong

I am right

I swear I'm right

I swear I knew it all along

And I am flawed

But I am cleaning up so well

I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

So clear

Like the diamond in your ring

Cut to mirror your intentions

Oversized and overwhelmed

The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me

So isoloated, so motivated

I am certain now that

{Chorus}
So turnUp the corners of your lips

Part them and feel my finger tips

Trace the moment, fall forever

Defense is paper thin

Just one touch and I'd be in

Too deep now to ever swim against the current

So let me slip away (3x)

So let me slip against the current

So let me slip away (4x)

{Chorus}
Slight hope

It dangles on a string

Like slow spinning redemption...

Vindicated -Dashboard Confessional

It's one of spiderman2 soundtracks,and is always playing on P10.So I'm sure you heard of that.
Nice song!

Today..
Work is pretty boring as usual.
Taking a walk to Bugis with Grace and Eunice is so so so boring.I am just taking it as an exercise.Aunties..Well Eunice is not an auntie though.But.. =x
Thought of registering NIE once again,since HR is like so boring.
Wish Jason msges more,but guess he is really busy.
Wonder what is Yng doing on her own.Oh maybe Simon is back from outfield already.
Hate it when Grace said I should wear cover shoes,not even heels.WTF.
Cant wish for that Mr Eddie Koh,our HR manager,to leave and the new HR manager comes.Although I have no conversations with Eddie,other than that interview,and he appears to be easy gg with the HR staff.(not me~)
Miss my bed,my ah bian,my bbt,my ronny and my pooh.
Really wanna go out with Jason on Saturday and really praying he doesnt have any trainings or matches on Sat and Sun.But unlikely!
Wish that I'm back in school,with my friends.Working sucks.
Cant wait to KO!!

Looks like Jason is busy..with whatever.
Take care pple.
I know I have not been msging/calling/catching up but sometimes I am just lazy/busy/tired/but not meanly intentionally mean it.Coz you know,whevever you are and I am,whatever you are and I am doing..I still put you at the bottom of my heart.
Just that each person only have 24 hours a day,we spent an avg of 8 hrs sleeping(esp impt for me),avg 8 hours on work,avg of 2-4 hours travelling,avg of 2-3 hours on ownself.We reallly do not have alot of time left.

Ok..I know whatcha gonna say.
"Excuses"
-_-

Cheerios~

My first day of work..

IS BORING!
I dislike office work,dislike HR especially..and worst..im dealing with the aspect of HR I dislike the most - Payrolling. x(

Cant believe that Im gonna do payrolling..and today I looked at the HR Assistant(that's my designation) cessation file.
Man..I say maybe my name may be up there some time later if I dislike.(which I already kinda turn off by today)

Human Resources..It is dealing with humans,they are your resources in the company.So it shouldnt be a dead thing.SO WHY THE HELL IS HR SO DAMN F#%$ BORING!!???

Early in the morning,my HR officer already bomb me with those payrolling stuff.I was pretending to be cool while alot of thoughts are left underspoken aka in brackets.

I really cant imagine that Im gonna live the peak of my life in an office,at least a boring office.We only live once and I duwan my life to be so unmemorable,so typical,so stereotype,so boring.

If I dislike this job,I wont spent 2-3 years just for the sake of my comfort zone.Knowing the fact is the older you get,the harder you get a job in Singapore.

Of coz that is to say nothing unlucky happen like the last time.

And Jason..Ha,need I say anything?
He really needs help in giving surprises in life,but again..he is too nice for a bf.And lucky he is mine.
Muacks~

Its not easy being a Stepford wife too.

Caught with Yng yesterday.Well..the movie is somewhat a well mixed.It's a lil of horror,suspense,comedy,romantic and ..ironic.Duh.

But imagine all ur life is like..serving ur husband,taking and even listening to the commands of ur children,keeping the house absolutely clean,baking and baking.My..it sounds like an utopia for guys.

And yes..I SPENT alot yesterday.All about getting ready back to the workplace.
Jason,dont nag at me.I know it is wise to save up but again,it is just another girl's thang that guys would NEVER understand.
There is a reason for everything.Without shoppers like us,how is the economy ever gonna pick up?
Just like without soccerfreaks like you,Starhub cablevision's sales and rating gonna drop by half,I reckon.
Plus..these are prepaid stuffs.;p

If Yng and I share an apartment together.Her closet would probably be full of shoes,while mine is clothings.And we would have a shared-closet full of bags and maybe accessories.
Talk about the joy of being a gal.

This makes me recall back to the time when both Yng and I are younger.(we are still young~)
We used to imagine that we live in a clean nice apartment,sharing a hostel and of coz with our two cuties out from NDP~
*Drools*

Ok..Think I gotta start preparing.Hope it is a wonderful date for me and Jason today coz the last good one was like...yonks ago.`.`

Im gonna work starting 26th

i wonder why all HR jobs get so MISERABLE peanuts pay.
or maybe why am I ALWAYS the one who get peanuts pay.

And to think I really accepted the peanuts pay job.I know it is gonna be mundane and really just mundane.To think I gave up a big fat sheep-Planet Fitness, for a job that is so less exciting(less stressful of coz) and pays like ..peanuts.

They better increase the pay once the 3 months is up and more importantly I pray HARD that I wont get the craps I got in the last job.
really fark~

ok..just pray hard Everything is smooth this time round...
EEYAAGH~

Im gonna work starting 26th

i wonder why all HR jobs get so MISERABLE peanuts pay.
or maybe why am I ALWAYS the one who get peanuts pay.

And to think I really accepted the peanuts pay job.I know it is gonna be mundane and really just mundane.To think I gave up a big fat sheep-Planet Fitness, for a job that is so less exciting(less stressful of coz) and pays like ..peanuts.

They better increase the pay once the 3 months is up and more importantly I pray HARD that I wont get the craps I got in the last job.
really fark~

ok..just pray hard Everything is smooth this time round...
EEYAAGH~

Happy Ending --Avril Lavinge

We did not celebrate our 13th month,did not went out to eat,did not stroll..was nothing romantic but perhaps is one of the best anniversary I've got.

It started off a pretty bad note..Infact a very mere misunderstanding but I used that as a catalyst to blast things off.
Actually I intend to just go home and let things be but I know it isnt right,especially when he is not at fault.
I dont want Jason to feel miserable about it the whole time.

So I called him over.We talked..and he cried badly.I guess I am really stronger than him coz he always cry first;p
Suddenly..he kept very quiet.
Was I afraid of breakup?I guess I am more afraid of breakup if he did it for ME.

Every words he said cuts me..not because it hurts me but makes me realises how much I hurts him.

I told him very frankly how I feel and again and again,I have got his assurance.
It is always for me..he always did things for me.

That is the boy who is always there for me.

Tonight..every words he said touched me.

At the ending part,we were sitting like 2 good friends..when I really have the urgency to go toilet.haha.

I guess..this relationship still has alot more to learn.

Btw i wanna give thanks to my special pretty pret pret~Yng.
Thanks for ur chocolate moulds,almonds,choco rice,pots..blah.
Thanks for being there always.
Thanks for all ur sound advices,be it i heed them or not;p
And thanks for being YOU.
I love ya~

World Peace~
*Imagines all the cameras shots and me faking that tears and mega watt smile@_@

Let's get the EngINe Started

Ok,I have more than ENOUGH resting and taking my own sweet time to job hunt.I feel particularly sick once again when I see my mum gave me allowances on my table.Though I am sure she wont give daily but it is just not very comfortable.

I would be expecting Planet Fitness call though,but better to flip thru the papers again.So tml onwards,knowing there wont be much ad. on Monday,I shall buy the newspaper and start all over again.

*deep breathe in*

Why is Keane's song playing in my head?

"Everybody's changing and I dont feel the same~"

Alright,gotta run soon..heading to Yng's house..

Playing MLTR now

MLTR has some really sad ballads,one of my fav when I first listen to them is
"I'm not an actor,im not a star.
And I dont even have my own car.
But Im hoping so much you stay..
That you will love me anyway..."

Look..I guess if the gal dun love you,it doesnt matter you are driving a Posh or just a bicycle.

I liked their- "That's why.(You go away)" or izzit "I wont forget?"

But I guess that is love.If you dont let the gal go,you probably caused more pain.

Just went for a hair cut and I really like getting my hair cut.
If only some memories can be snap away like this too.

"But I am not the man that your heart is missing...That's why you go..the way I know..."

Ok..If a love is lost,no point trying very hard to dig it back.It really only cause misery and pain.

Today is the Chinese Valentine.
May all those love birds out there feel the bliss.
May all those broken hearts find solace and get heal.
May all those people whose hearts is not with them but get lost with someone else,get a way outta the pain.
May all those items who know that their love is lost but still sticking together,wake up someday and perhaps rekindle the fire or just let go,which is not a bad thing sometimes.
May all those singles out there and feeling just a lil lonely find joy of being single and then find the significant other soon.

I am a GOOD pretender

Say..Am I not a gr8 pretender.I say I scored at today's interview but by being someone that is totally un-Mich.

Today the gal aka yours truely at interview with a tough or rather 2 tough cookies is someone that is bold,agressive,dynamite and truely willing to venture into the SALES field.

The only thing I like about the sales industry is that you determine your own pay.The more you push and work for it,the more you get.And really if you really are determine to score in this field,your pay is those that are much more higher and exciting than those you get sitting in the office.

Of coz there is always a price for good stuff.You gotta hit and exceed the target if not your supervisor will personally breathe down your neck.
And I know that this guy who interviewed me today really mean what he said that he will come tough on you if you arent performing.

True..there is one side of me that really wanna push on further.One side of me being so restless and really wanna achieve more than the others.
So surprisingly after what Barry(the guy) had told me,I am not very turn off.
Unlike the Recruit Express that time.

Coz I believe also that if you wanna do it and really wanna do it,impossible is nothing.

But by nature,I am the type that really vote for simplicity than anything else.I do not like others to keep pressing me and pushing me to a wall.In sales..they will do so till you retaliate and bite them.Coz all they care for is nothing but RESULTS.
They dun care how much efforts you put in.You can show them that you are darn hardworking by doing OT everyday,but when there is no results,you can pack your stuff and leave.

Barry told me honestly that the longer the interview,the higher the likelihood that they are gonna hired.And my interview last for ard a hour.
Still have to go through the second interview with the HR department.Well that is after they really decide to go with me.

So in the mean while,I still have a few days chance to pray a more interesting but less stressful job comes my way.

Am still praying hard for the Total Brain Trainer.Sounds cool and interesting.
There are always just a FEW jobs that can catch my interest,but whether I catch their interest is another issue.

Night

The Reason -Hoobastank

Diana is truely one of the kind,i really dig her!
Her life is so fulfilling and she is so inspiring (for me).Although i dunno her very well,but I really like her.

I hate gg to interviews these days..its like,I know I dun like their job yet i have to pretend to be so enthu about it.And I think that they may feel that im 'fake' too.

What do i wanna do?I dun want those offices or desk bound jobs.no matter how 'interesting' it is,it will get dull within the first month.

im more into jobs that are like on the go,but definitely not sales.coz i hate the term of hitting targets and when you did not,your boss with definitely strangle you alive.cant live to face that kinda harsh punishment.*wimpers*

i always like cafes kinda job and yes,Jason..YOU DUN rem' what is my wish or maybe dream.Gee..I am disappointed.

I would always love to set up those kinda contemporary zenish kinda cafes.2 storeys.The lower storey is a cafe,selling also different kinda (even exotic ones) pastries and cakes.The upper storey would be a book store.All kinda books and with computers ard.A few sofas and the rest would be like cushions on the floor.And yea,the whole funitures would be wooden made.And the music would be those kinda you hear in 'That CD shop'.

And if only I can just set up like I want to.Like...her.

If not,I would like to work in cafes alone.Not those selling pastas and food la.More like Coffeebean those kinda coffee joint,or just a small cozy pastry shop.Now if NOT for my parents,I wouldnt give a damn on what i am working as,even though it is so unworth my diploma.

When can I be just ME?
Yng always say i have the character of a guy???Well..to certain extent,I have to admit.Not only due to the fact that I have 2 brothers at home,but also precisely that my two brothers aint doing good,I HAVE to be my parents' hope.

I dun wanna be at who or where I am if I have the choice.

I wanna do what I want...I dun have too much choices in life.My life isnt always about myself only.:(

Lately Jason and I are back to the 'Single' mode.Well...I dunno how to describe but I do enjoy some bits of it.
I am hungry now...Hey Jason,if you read this..We can have a talk tonight?Been a few days since we talk right?Ok..not..we just talked for 20 odd minutes on HANDPHONE this wednesday.
Gosh..my bills!~~!

Why do I feel so lousy still

Or why do i STILL feel so lousy?
Sigh..I dunno.I feel sick man.
Yea,job could be one of the reasons.
I really wanna spend my days working at a small cosy pastry shop.Days could be simpler and yet..sweeter perhaps.But again..I am so..unjustified since my last wrongful termination.I wanted to get a job and throw myself into it and really prove my worth to them.

But is that what I want?I hate this working world.So political and complex.So dangerous that you cant help but go with the flow and find yourself changing(horribly)

If the working society is sick,you cant stay sane in it.

And of coz this is only one of the reasons.I leave other reasons to be unsaid.Only Yng knows.

She has her fair share of woes,and I pity my poor ol' sis.

Why cant we get to somewhere to start afresh all on our own?
If life is a learning journey,sometimes it is just too pain to keep learning and learning.

Single

I like this song sing by the sister of Daniel Beddingfield.Pardon me if I spell wrongly yea?
Now..Whether you are attached or not,I guess everyone and anyone at some point of their lives wanted to be S-i-n-g-l-e for a while.

I dunno about you,Jason..but sometimes I DO feel being Single is good.Ok thou shalt not involve anyone here.Lets just talk being generally,ok?

I dunno what makes me wanna head into a relationship while I am young.I mean..while you are young,you should make use of your youth to feel free and enjoy what you have.I guess at this period of time,you are at the peak.
You are making a lot of friends,working,studying...getting into a new chapter of life.
Be it good or bad..it is something exciting and new, and is definitely worth looking back when you are older.
You are writing your own life bit by bit and isnt it good if you are free to write on your own.You do not have to worry of being answerable to anyone and for anything.

I just had the suckiest momment of my life and I bet this is jus the beginning.Yes,I am very thankful to all the support I have.My friends,my family,my sista:),my brother:),and my stupid boy.

Hmm..gimme a minute.I think I am off tracking already.
It doesnt make sense to what I am gg to say.

Anyway...I am gonna annouce that Mich shall be back to her single bacheorette days for this week.That means it is all about me and my sista gg back to single and ENJOY singlehood.So all MARSIANS..get off~

I need the time for myself to sort up my personal stuff...It is all a mess inside me.And yea,I take this chance to getaway with Yng who needs to get herself back.
So it is a chance for both gals to find themselves back and what they truely wants.

Hmm..Life is like a sit com,without the money that is.

I wanna go back school!!!

I know I said in my previous entry that I am gonna put this blog to sleep.
Well..Maybe not today yet.
Gonna have dinner with my dear sista later.Hope can catch a lil' fireworks.

I woke up,dreamt of Jason.But I cant rem what the dream is about.
Suddenly I thought it is good not to see him for a while more..now..what am I saying?
We will be meeting on Graduation,before I go to work again.
But guess I would spending more time with my friends~I miss them alot.

There is hardly anyone you can call friends in the working world.
I dun trust anyone there,maybe only Rabiah-the attachment gal,can get along better.

And maybe Kahyin..but he is nevertheless,still a RM there.I cant trust him very much,as well as we did get along fine.

Sigh...I wanna be back to school~

So long~

Im announcing that I am gonna put this blog to sleep.
I am gg through changes,and I know it better than anyone else.I know who I am now is affecting everyone else,especially Jason.
I am trying very hard to resist changes,trying so damn hard,but I cant.

Look..I am just gonna say that I am not gg to stay the same,though I am trying very hard to.I dunno what is going on and what is happening to me.
I dislike what I am gg through psychologically wise but again I did not stop it.

Rem the last entry I mentioned about me being incharge of the speeding bullet train?
Well...I realised that I did not stop or even limit the speed,but is gg along with it.
It is so dangerously fun and wrong at the same time.

If I did hurt anyone else now or in the future,I am gonna say sorry in advance though I dun think it helps.

I dun think you would understand unless you are me right now.It hurts alot trying to think,feel and do the same when you are not the same anymore.Yes..I am afraid of me.

I never think it would happen to me,but it did now.I never think I would join the norm,but I am now.

I am horrible,I know.

Jason..and whoever that is reading this.You may or may not understand what I am writing now..but at least be prepare for anything that you wouldnt expect.
Like they say...always expect the unexpected.

I feel like craps but again..it is not totally that I did not "enjoy" what I am doing now.

So long~If I were to blog here again..Perhaps it would be one fine day when I feel like communicating like I am the same old me.

Tears in Heaven..

Met Jason for dinner just now.Boy...did I miss that cologne smell of his.It was that very same smell he used to wear in that small warm HR room.
Hehe;p

Took him back home.We bought a small tiramisu cake for my dear birthday brother who turns 15 today.Feels bad that I did not buy anything for him.
First I am broke,second i did not have the time to shop.

Tml gonna go back to work again...please...lemme have SOMETHING to do and not sit there like a dumbwit.
night...

"The more time you waste,the less time you go to hell"

That was the quote from Melvin,the so called IT whiz there.Duh..But i find it pretty ironic and funny at the same time.
This week seems to be extremely long yet fast.
The contract begins last night and everyone is so busy this week.
I really wish I can help Xiao mei more sia..feel like an absolute dumbass sitting there and not knowing how and where to help.
Even till now..i guess I am the only one that is not fully aware of the whole damn situation.Although you cant really blame me coz I am just attached here to do the recruitment.
But again...It was no excuse,since the start of my work..I have been with them.
Sigh...
I guess i would still be with them for a lil more time..It is not I am eager to go back to HQ.Yurks..hell no.But it just seems that my help to them is not of too much help now.I rather go back and do something then to sit there and not able to do anything.

Everyone and yes,E-VERY-One is quite unhappy about the fact that I am doing unpaid work.
Well...once and again,lemme say this again.

Everyone and yes,AIR-VERY-BER-DAy is working very very hard there and none of them is getting paid for the extra hours and efforts.
It just so happened that I joined this company at the period which they are taking over the contract with airport.
Yes,initially I was unhappy about that but then later I wasnt.
I grew connected,ok not very connected,with the T1 pple,so much that I rather the HQ decided that I should be transferred to T1 soon i have picked up what i should have from Jennifer.

The director was smart,he gave the analogy like we are gg to war.
T1,which I am currently at,is the one on the frontline fighting the war.
T2,which I should be at actually,is the backup HQ.
So whatever T1 needs,T2 would supply.But currently T2 themselves are running out of "soilders"(aka the cleaners) so T1 gotta recruit new soilders back for them.

Eric and Mr Pang are like the chiefs of this whole war.Eric in charge of T1 and the latter T2.
Cedric is like the advisor of T1.
Kah Yin is the leading man of this whole T1 team.
The rest of the A.R.M are like the erm...generals and so on.
Me and Xiao mei are the supporting role.While she is in charge of the daily papers operations,I am in charge of taking in more manpower.
The selected capable supervisors(Which I am proud to announce that I RECRUITED most of them in) are like the leaders of those "soilders".

Now the war has begin..every other "enemies" in the airport is looking at our success/failure.So all of us is working like hell.
Infact I wouldnt think I help up alot.Like I have said,I felt like a dumbass sitting there and not doing anything sometimes.

I think I have learn alot,yet not ALOT,from this whole operations.At least the term "late" is like only wee-hours now..haha.
so no worries,guys.
Your gal is gonna make it just fine.